Category: food

Candy Disappearing

Candy Disappearing

Candy that I shouldn’t be eating
Is slowly depleting
from the candy jar
that’s not too far
from my hand that inches toward
the candy that I hoard,
one piece at a time
added to those that I’m
already busy digesting
until their final resting.

Gingerbread Family Looking at Lights

This is one of our family traditions.  looking at lights on Christmas eve.

Gingerbread Family Looking at Lights

Since this evening merited
A tradition we’ve inherited,
We set the timer on a slow-paced drive
To keep the ritual alive.

The Christmas music’s on,
While red hots look upon
Lit-up houses we drive by
Frosting dripping in each eye.

Cranking the heat tonight
We hoped it might
Be translated
Into smaller cookies sedated.

Two of our cookies cannot keep
Their eyes open, they fell asleep
While the third is too excited
Completely delighted,

Glazing at Christmas lights,
An oven window’s Christmas sights.
Until the oven puts him down
We’ll drive around this lit-up town.

We Don’t Grill Babies

We Don’t Grill Babies

After stuffed animals and baby dolls were shown,
As exhibitions of my son’s playing.
It’s likely my voice contained a confused tone
At the wonder of what I was saying.

My son was grilling dinner on the ottoman, it
Took me a moment but I thought a minute
And after rationalizing “yeses”, “Nos” and “Maybes”,
I came up with, “we don’t grill babies.

You can grill animals ‘till your heart’s content
But a baby who does not consent
Cannot be cast on the flames of a grill.
To be disposed of at your will.

In fact, a baby who does consent cannot be killed
Simply because the two of you willed
It to be so.  Human life contains value.
So grill a tasty animal pal you’d
Like to eat instead
Of pretending the babies are dead.”

My wife gave me a smirkey smile from the other chair,
Loving me and the words I chose to share
With our three year-old who was grilling
Babies that no one should be killing.

Avoiding the Death of the Coffee Pot

Avoiding the Death of the Coffee Pot

I look at the coffeepot and know he’s
Purposefully dripping down slowly
But I’m too out of energy to get up
Walk over and steal a cup
From the drips, delightfully hot
Descending into the pot.

I look at him, imagining the worst
What if the coffee pot burst
And I had no caffeine inside of me.
In vein, he would have died for me.
I’d see my friend’s life come to pass
In broken coffee-shards of glass.

I grab a mug down from the shelf
and make a promise to myself
To avoid this tragedy
And grab the pot more carefully
Than I did inside my mind.
Then pour my cup so I’ll unwind.

The Halloween Social Contract

The Halloween Social Contract

Don’t stare with your eyes all a glaze,
As if it’s somehow my fault
When you don’t say the simple phrase,
And your race comes to a halt.

On my front porch, if you don’t engage in
The Halloween social contract,
Don’t try to convince me we live in an age when
The candy’s simply sacked

Without the secret code that tells me to release
Sweet sugary droplets into your bag.
My stash of candy depletes so yours can increase
So your pillowcase fills and starts to drag,

But only when the words are spoken
Will I give you a sugary token.
If you hold out a bag and our eyes simply meet,
That’s not the same as saying “trick or treat”.

Utensils for Eating Ice Cream

Utensils for Eating Ice Cream

Ice cream should only be served with a small spoon.
So that the end will not arrive too soon.
A large spoon makes the moment all too short
But will suffice if it’s a last resort.

The other exception that I could make
Is eating ice cream with my cake.
I wouldn’t break the cake-fork combination
For the small spoon Ice cream sensation.

Plastic forks though, change the rule of play
Since you don’t know when a prong might break away.
When using plastic, a spoon’s the way to go
To be safe on all utensil rules I know.

But the one ice cream utensil that’s the best
By far, held up above the rest
That trumps the spoon rules I suppose
Would be the one that’s underneath your nose.

Breakfast Sandwich: Eggs Over Medium on Toast

Breakfast Sandwich: Eggs Over Medium on Toast

When the yoke’s about to burst
I do a simple action first.
A pre-squeeze makes my sandwich flat
So I’ll avoid the strayed egg splat

That shoots off from the sandwich side
To Rorschach shapes of yellow dyed
In dress shirts that now wear the joke
Of sandwiches that squirt out yoke.

Grilled Cheese Vs. Taco

Grilled Cheese Vs. Taco

Taco cuts to the cheese, “Lets get down to business.”
Looks at the sandwich and says, “I can wiz this.”
Onlookers respond, “dude, that cheese is cut
He’s ripped out like Rambo to kick your butt.”

But still Taco thinks “no man I’ll unbread him,
Leave him for slices of cheese then I’ll shred him.
He’ll crumble like feta, shake like parmesan
This grilled cheese is girl cheese I’ve stumbled upon.”

“Careful,” said Grilled Cheese “you shell of a taco.
I’ll break you apart and make you a nacho,
I’ll flatten you out and scare out your toppings.
Don’t bother me kid, go scrape up your droppings.”