Category: humor

Facebook Happy Birthday

Facebook Happy Birthday

Absolutely nothing that I’m about to say
Is going to top the others who consistently relay
A “Happy Birthday” message with a personal aside
But with this cut-and-pasted poem, I can say I’ve tried.

Taking down the Christmas tree

Taking down the Christmas tree

The most effective way to see
The needles flinging off the tree
Would simply be to set it free
From living room captivity.

Stripped of all of its décor,
We’ll try to get it out the door
Leaving memories once more,
As treeless needles on the floor.

My Little Fixer-Upper

My Little Fixer-Upper

I am constantly running out of space
In this absurdly small little place
I call my own.  Clearly, I’m outgrowing
This mobile home.  I’m showing

Signs that I need to get moving,
But with laziness improving
This fixer-upper’s frequently
Content with what you see.

Full Moon

Full Moon

I love standing on my porch looking at a full moon
Unless it’s a random naked buffoon
‘Cause then I’d respectfully have to pass
Rather than stare at somebody’s crass.

I like it when moon beams pierce through a cloud
And shine down on us when the sun’s not allowed.
But moon streaks shine down “where the sun don’t”
So I’d rather not look, and I simply won’t.

But often my eyes are drawn to a stare
When they notice my legs are exceedingly bare
‘Cause sometimes I go on my porch unaware
I’m Pants-less participant standing out there.

Candy Disappearing

Candy Disappearing

Candy that I shouldn’t be eating
Is slowly depleting
from the candy jar
that’s not too far
from my hand that inches toward
the candy that I hoard,
one piece at a time
added to those that I’m
already busy digesting
until their final resting.