Category: humor

Grilled Cheese Vs. Taco

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Grilled Cheese Vs. Taco

Taco cuts to the cheese, “Lets get down to business.”
Looks at the sandwich and says, “I can wiz this.”
Onlookers respond, “dude, that cheese is cut
He’s ripped out like Rambo to kick your butt.”

But still Taco thinks “no man I’ll unbread him,
Leave him for slices of cheese then I’ll shred him.
He’ll crumble like feta, shake like parmesan
This grilled cheese is girl cheese I’ve stumbled upon.”

“Careful,” said Grilled Cheese “you shell of a taco.
I’ll break you apart and make you a nacho,
I’ll flatten you out and scare out your toppings.
Don’t bother me kid, go scrape up your droppings.”

http://www.bonjourpoetry.com

Teething Techniques

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Teething Techniques

I’m testing out a circumstance we
haven’t tried so if by chance he
hushes up then I can be
inside a moment quietly.

Right now he’s in the jumper,
But he’s looking for his thumb or
Something else to chew upon
Until the teething phase is gone.

So I’ve rigged up rings within his reach
But still, I don’t know how to teach
Him place your mouth around the rings
So I’ll enjoy the calm it brings.

http://www.bonjourpoetry.com

A Quick Clothing Check as We Sit, Stand, and Kneel

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A Quick Clothing Check as We Sit, Stand, and Kneel.

Like a good catholic, I sit in the back with
My eyes on the whole congregation.
We modesty check for an odd to see speck
Of skin that distracts concentration.

As sure as I am there’s the sign of the cross,
There are rows of people that check for the loss
Of backsided coverage from clothing scrunched up
Or a skirt that gets straightened from being bunched up.

There’s that guy with his pants that he lifts past his belly
By ringing his thumb round his belt, you can tell he
Has done this for ages, this unsubtle move.
I call it a prayer, this pantaloon groove.

Some may pick wedgies out from their behind,
While I sit behind out of sight out of mind
Some do a shirt-flap and let their shirt hover
Before landing in for a straightened, butt cover.

Sometimes it is simply the swipe of the hand
A motion that all of us now understand
Results from the praise that our bodies reveal,
A quick clothing check as we sit, stand and kneel.

http://www.bonjourpoetry.com

Catholic Pickup Lines

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Catholic Pickup Lines

Didn’t I see you at World Youth Day?
How about you, me, and a Passion Play?
I always kiss on the lips at the sign of peace.
After shaking hands, we’re supposed to release?

I think the iris’s in your eyes,
Remind me of the little flower.
It only took me 22 tries
Before I found your holy hour.

I need a partner for my marriage prep class,
And since you distract me at mass,
We could get married and stop stalling?
Was my message on your phone your calling?

Wanna call it the March for Wife,
Start a family and be pro-life?
Should I genuflect or stand in line,
‘Cause girl, you look absolutely divine.

Do you have the gift of interpretation?
Or can I whisper sweet nothings in your ear?
Lets start a up a good conversation
Holding theology of your body near.

Was I knocked out by your beauty or slain in the spirit?
I hear you’ve got the gift of tongues, want to share?
I didn’t know my pilgrimage stopped here it’s
Great though to be stuck inside your stare.

We’ll go out after a decade or two
But lets not rush, lets pray this moment lingers.
I forgot my rosary, can I share with you?
You forgot yours? Lets use my fingers.

http://www.bonjourpoetry.com

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Bacon

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Bacon

What’s better than makin’
up some more bacon,
That’s up for the takin’
When no one has stake in
The slow cookin’ bacon.

‘Cause inside the kitchen,
Those who don’t pitch in
Come in for snitchin’

And though this might be stressing
There’s no real point in guessing
The culprits aren’t confessing
Who’s stealing bacon blessing.

From Baby

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From Baby

Don’t listen to my voice, ‘cause I can’t speak
I’m in amniotic fluid upside down.
I know that if I kick mom here, she’ll leak
I’ll wait though, till we’re driving through downtown.