Category: christianity

Power Tools and the Hypostatic Union

Power Tools and the Hypostatic Union

I’m not saying Jesus wasn’t skilled
But maybe He tapped eternity and willed
Some power tools to His time back in the day,
Kept in the back of his place, out of the way.

So when someone had some project to be done
That Jesus thought wouldn’t be as fun
As spinning the world on his finger
He might take the project and linger

In the back for a much briefer duration
Before emerging with a woodworked creation
That was routed and sanded much faster,
Since His tool selection was vaster.

This granted Him more time to pander
Why His human intellect would wander
To things like what exactly is
This hypostatic union of His.

What Makes Kids Behave in Church.

What Makes Kids Behave in Church.

“Why is it your children behave well in church
They sit quietly on that wooden pew perch
As if their stone statues, the saints of today,
Why won’t my kids start behaving that way?”

Taken aback by the question at hand,
I answered her question so she’d understand
Why my children will listen all throughout mass
With only a question or two that they pass

From their sweet little lips to fatherly ear,
And with whispers I answer each question I hear.
In fact as a father I relish the task
Growing fearful myself with each question they ask.

“Dad, how do they make the stained glass?”
“Good Question son, I don’t mean to be crass,
But they find little boys who won’t sit and behave,
Find their bright colored toys and give them a shave.

They take these toy shavings from primary toys,
Melt them down into windows, so stop making noise.”
I’m never real sure of the questions he brings
But I’ve gotten quite good at explaining these things.

“Why do those singers keep singing so bad?”
“‘Cause God took the beautiful voices they had.
They were talking to loud during church one day,
when they should have been kneeling to quietly pray.”

“How come the other kids are eating cheerios?”
“They get one meal a week and that’s it I suppose.”
“What’s with people passing a basket full of money,
is it to take a rainy day and make it sunny?”

“You have to give up your allowance if you don’t eat all your veggies
Or they’ll hang you on the wall and you’ll have eternal wedgies
Like those statues of the saints that are wedged up on the wall
All because they didn’t eat when vegetables would call.”

The one that takes the cake though is the shark tank that they’ll fill
If they find out there’s a little boy in church that can’t sit still.
Don’t make me take you back there or the sharks might be released.
They’ll smell out misbehavior and have a cry-room feast.

Choking on the Eucharist

I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, but if I were to go, I can’t imagine a better way to go.  -Andy

Choking on the Eucharist

There might be some theology I’ve missed
But if I find my life has to be done
I hope that I choke on the Eucharist

If I’m to end this life without a list
Complete, or even one that has begun,
There might be some theology I’ve missed,

But I’d still welcome a death that was kissed
By the Real Presence of Jesus the Son.
I hope that I choke on the Eucharist.

I wonder if it’s a sin to insist
To die with Jesus and rise with the Sun.
There might be some theology I’ve missed,

If Hell tried to take me, I’d raise my fist
Victorious at the devil who thought he had won.
I hope that I choke on the Eucharist.

I smile at the thought of Satan pissed
If I died at the instant his work was undone.
There might be some theology I’ve missed.
I hope that I choke on the Eucharist.

“Catholic Pickup Lines” beat out by “Walking with the Potter”

Real-Life Review: Bonjourpoetry September

Distractions:  A lot going on this month, It’s been much harder to find time to write.  Hopefully I’ll find a good groove for October.

Here’s my picks fro the top 5 poems from September in the order that I ranked them.  What do you think? Did I mess up the ranking, or do you agree with me?  Leave a comment below.

1.  Walking with the potter

2.  Catholic Pickup Lines

3.  Sum thyme’s I’m Ache Thai pose

4.  Grilled Cheese Vs. Taco

5.  A quick clothing check as we sit stand and kneel



Weeping, hear me, as I do relay,
The incidents my mind keeps out of sight,
I clenched my fist as I killed Christ today.

I assure you of the truth in what I say,
I chose to do what I knew wasn’t right
Weeping hear me as I do relay

I took a nail and let His flesh give way
My sin driving in absence of His light.
I clenched my fist as I killed Christ today.

The image of it in my mind will play,
Tomorrow’s sins forecast by today’s fight
Weeping hear me as I do relay,

Alone I rest, I’m crying out Yaweh!
My Christ I need you, shed on me Your might.
I clenched my fist as I killed Christ today.

“Innocent” society would say
But I cry out in light as in the night
Weeping, hear me, as I do relay
I clenched my fist as I killed Christ today.

Revelation Tool

Revelation Tool

Why is rain a revelation tool
That’s used in movies
To groove these
Characters into Someone
When there is no sun.

With their contemplation and rain thinking
Watching the rain sinking
Into sewers
As viewers
The rain planned

To give him another chance
To review his stance
And know he’s alive
As we strive
For something
The rain may bring.